Tuesday, March 26, 2013

One Year Already

Wow I can't believe that it has already been one year since Chloe went to be with the Lord. It does not feel like it has been that long already. It seems like the older I get the faster time seems so go by.  On Sunday we wanted to go to Chloe's grave and maybe release some balloons, but the weather here was yucky out so we didn't get to go like planed and Travis had to work that night also.  So for me it seemed like the day was already sad and depressing. But we were given a wonderful surprise.   Jessica Davis Thompson  Face-timed with me all the way from Louisiana to watch her, with the team of Tripps Troops doing a balloon release in memory of Chloe. It was so sweet it made me cry.  It made my day getting to watch that. After that I went to church and then hung out with my brother and sister-in-law and niece.    
A couple days ago I was crying and I called my mommy and I was talking to her and all I could think about was how I should have a 1 year old right now. How I should be teaching my daughter how to walk and to talk, and teaching her.  But I had to remember that she is in a better place. She is in the best place she could ever be and tonight I heard some good preaching and the preacher mentioned about Chloe and reminded me that She is a lot better off than I am here on this earth. 

The Lord has really blessed me this past year. He has helped me to be able to grieve in a healthy way and has helped me overcome a lot of emotions, that for a while was really hard to deal with. I had a lot of bitterness and envy in my heart that The Lord came by and took from me, and after that, that was when the healing really began.  but I always feel like I have so much to say until I go to write a blog post.  

Also I am going to announce here that I am currently trying to work on a book about Grieving and The Lord. Its going to be about Chloe, ( of course) and I am going to fully explain in there about my grief, the stages I went through and how the Lord was able to heal my broken heart.  I don't want to make money from this book because thats not what its about for me. I just want to be able to help someone who may be also going through a hard time of grief of losing a baby or child, or anyone for that matter. To many people get angry at God when they lose a loved one instead of thanking him for the time they had with that person, even if it was only a few seconds. 

But that is all for now. Love you and thank you for your time to read this!